" They are here!" Those words brought a mixture of relief and nervous energy. Two months earlier it had been decided that kiley and I would be moving out to Emrang a village several hours hike away in a different valley. The people there are interested in the gospel and getting an education. A couple years ago student missionaries (SMs) from Kementiyan were living there providing education, medical services, and focusing on the 1st stages of introducing Jesus or "Empu' Isus" to the people. This is the work Kiley and I will be c ontinuing to do.
Unfortunately, it has not been possible for any missionaries to be in Emrang the last year and a half. Because of the time laps things had degenerated a bit. Fore example the missionaries' hut had a very leaky roof and the jungle or "Kerikutan" had grown up around the house, so even though we knew we were going we had no idea when. In fact, at some points we wondered if we would ever get out there at all. On two occasions malaria was the culprit in interrupting progress. First it was Meniwang the head gunggurang (like a head elder of a particular group of people) who was fixing our roof got Malaria. Then Kiley got it when it was time to move. In any case Kiley and I had been praying that God would send us there in his timing and trusted him to take care of it. Well that day did finally arrive. February 5th exactly 5 months after arriving in the Philippines. After being sent off with prayer by our fellow missionaries we and our six guides from Emrang loaded up the last few things on our backs and headed out.
It struck me as we were hiking on the trail that here we were headed to a place we've never been before, that's far far away, and we're being led by complete strangers. We're going there to live not just visit. No one there speaks English to help us along when we don't understand, with our limited vocabulary and experience we are to get the school up and running and provide medical care, and will be the only Christians there. Everyone will be looking to us to see what the Character of God is like, and suddenly we are the most experienced in spiritual warfare. Feeling a bit inadequate? Most Definitely! But just like walking trails here you only focus on taking the next step, not all the other ones ahead of you. Trusting in God's leading in my life and his strength I cling to promises like Joshua 1:9. "What have I told you to do? I have told you to be strong and full of courage. Don't be terrified or discouraged and give up. You don't have to do all this alone. I will be with you and help you every step of the way." Only God knows the beginning and end. I know his plans and purposes are good for he has already been working them out in my life and proving his promises to be true. I am happy to walk the trail he puts before me all the while learning more of him and experiencing the joy of being in his service.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
#7 Big Mountains & A Big God
I sat looking at the beautiful mountains from the perspective of the lowlands. They really are an impressive site to behold, I thought to myself. Our 2 weeks of intense language and cultural learning on the farm had come to an end. The following day we would finally be hiking into Kementiyan where we would be living and serving for the next year. Many questions swirled through my mind about what I would see and experience there. The longer I looked at the mountains the more anxiety crept up. Will I be able to make it up and over that mountain tomorrow? As I kept looking I suddenly realized how big God has to be just to make mountains like that and if he's big enough to make them he's big enough to get me over them and through anything I may experience on the other side. And he most certainly has carried me through.
#6 Culture Shock
They say anytime you step into a new culture it's like going through a time warp. No matter how high up you've climbed on the latter and how successful you've been in your own culture, when you leave it you are stripped bare of all of it. You lose your ability to speak, and your understanding and the "know how" to be able to perform simple daily tasks. It's like going from an adult back to being an infant. You're helpless and dependent on the people around you. Experiencing this as a missionary can be quite bewildering. You understand the great task of introducing Jesus to the people around you and discipling and mentoring them so they can grow in their knowledge and relationship with Him, and you can't even understand what's going on around you. If you didn't feel inadequate before to be a missionary you sure do now.
I experienced all this my first week in the Philippines while living on the farm in the lowlands with a handful of mountain Palawans. Everything there was new, the sights, sounds, smells, sleeping with mosquito nets, having a bamboo floor, cooking for eight people over one fire, using a machete, preparing and cooking food I'd never seen before, bucket showers, hand washing cloths, the social customs, and of course the language. Jumping into all of this made a very steep learning curve. As I attempted to keep up my stress level rose and culture shock began to set in.
Before everything was new and different in a wonderful sort of way, but now I was seeing everthing that was new and different in an aweful way. What I once thought was beautiful seemed dull and ugly now. Smells that were simply new made me feel nausous. Before when I saw people I wondered who they were, what their struggles were, and what was important to them. Now all I saw was that these peple ware selfish and are judging me. I didn't experience this very long before I knew something had to change. I had come to share the love of God and I wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, and at this point I had no room for God's love in my own heart.
I turned to the only thing I knew would help my God and friend. The Palawans were wonderful to us the two weeks we were there with them on the farm. Teaching us how to cook, always helping us with our fire, patiently repeating the same word over and over again so we could learn it was so unselfish and gracious of them. The problem was my identity was stripped from me. No one knew what I was good at, or that I even was good at anything. They didn't know what was important to me or anything about my past, and how could they have? When I turned to God in my troubles He reminded me that my identity is not hidden from him. He knows all about me and cares even about the little things that most people don't. He brought me here for a reason and has promised to be my help. Even though I've felt much has been taken away from me here I realize my relationship with God has remained untouched. Nothing can come between that, and he is indeed my help! "...If I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:9,10
I experienced all this my first week in the Philippines while living on the farm in the lowlands with a handful of mountain Palawans. Everything there was new, the sights, sounds, smells, sleeping with mosquito nets, having a bamboo floor, cooking for eight people over one fire, using a machete, preparing and cooking food I'd never seen before, bucket showers, hand washing cloths, the social customs, and of course the language. Jumping into all of this made a very steep learning curve. As I attempted to keep up my stress level rose and culture shock began to set in.
Before everything was new and different in a wonderful sort of way, but now I was seeing everthing that was new and different in an aweful way. What I once thought was beautiful seemed dull and ugly now. Smells that were simply new made me feel nausous. Before when I saw people I wondered who they were, what their struggles were, and what was important to them. Now all I saw was that these peple ware selfish and are judging me. I didn't experience this very long before I knew something had to change. I had come to share the love of God and I wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, and at this point I had no room for God's love in my own heart.
I turned to the only thing I knew would help my God and friend. The Palawans were wonderful to us the two weeks we were there with them on the farm. Teaching us how to cook, always helping us with our fire, patiently repeating the same word over and over again so we could learn it was so unselfish and gracious of them. The problem was my identity was stripped from me. No one knew what I was good at, or that I even was good at anything. They didn't know what was important to me or anything about my past, and how could they have? When I turned to God in my troubles He reminded me that my identity is not hidden from him. He knows all about me and cares even about the little things that most people don't. He brought me here for a reason and has promised to be my help. Even though I've felt much has been taken away from me here I realize my relationship with God has remained untouched. Nothing can come between that, and he is indeed my help! "...If I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:9,10
Friday, February 22, 2013
#5 First Impressions
Two, big brown eyes peered at me through the seats of the big coach bus. They belonged to a little Filipino girl about the age of six. I wondered what she was thinking of all us white Americans sitting in the back of the bus. I wanted so badly to talk with her, but didn't even know a greeting in her language.
It was early afternoon and we were all headed down to Brooke's Point from Puerto Princessa. It had been a long couple of days filled with a lot of traveling and very little sleep. Our time in Puerto was short. Our agenda was to pick up the few necessary items we'd need to get us through the next couple weeks, grab some lunch, and be on our way. The trip from Puerto to Brooke's takes about 5 hours. We were privileged to ride with air conditioning and took advantage of the down time, some sooner than others. Eventually most of the group had nodded off and were bouncing in harmony with the pattern of the road. My body ached for sleep, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to see the countryside of Palawan, a place I would soon be calling home. Feeling too tired to even close my eyes, I gazed through my window soaking in all the new sights.
It's a habit of mine at the end of a year to think back on all the new experiences I had, to see how I've grown, what lessons I've learned, and how God has lead me and proven Himself faithful. Being at the very beginning of a one-year-term as a Student Missionary, I began wondering what I'll think back on come this time next year. How will I change? What will I experience? What will God reveal about Himself? Getting the feeling I was being watched, I looked over and found the same brown eyes peering through the seat again. They were such curious eyes. I wanted so badly to connect with her in some way, but how? Then suddenly I remembered. Dried Mangoes! I had just picked some up in Puerto. Everybody loves food! Maybe she'll be brave enough to eat some with me. I quickly pulled some out and to my delight, she gladly accepted.
We reached Brooke's right at Sunset. It was beautiful! Ocean on one side and mountains on the other. Everybody was eager to get some relief from all the bouncing and stretch their legs. We all filed out of the bus and began collecting all our things. As we were all standing there waiting for our ride, I felt a tug on my skirt. It was my little friend who had made a point to some say good-bye before she left with her family. She was the very first person I built a connection with here.
Later that night after getting some supper, we piled into the back of the pick-up and headed for the farm owned by the project. Awaiting us were about 20 Palawans. Some were there working on the farm and others had come down so they could start teaching us the language. We all had a sense of shyness and of course the language barrier. Since it was so late and we were all exhausted, we didn't waste any time in attempting to get our mosquito nets hung and beds set up, which was quite and experience while having to walk on a fragile bamboo floor that you were sure was going to break at any moment. All the Palawans were there watching us with eager expressions. I felt a bit like an animal in a zoo. Having learned a little bit of their language before arriving (thanks to former SM's), I tole them good evening "Menungang Gebi". They all broke out with smiles and laughter and responded with "Menungang Gasi" (the same to you), and so began the beginning of our friendship.
It was early afternoon and we were all headed down to Brooke's Point from Puerto Princessa. It had been a long couple of days filled with a lot of traveling and very little sleep. Our time in Puerto was short. Our agenda was to pick up the few necessary items we'd need to get us through the next couple weeks, grab some lunch, and be on our way. The trip from Puerto to Brooke's takes about 5 hours. We were privileged to ride with air conditioning and took advantage of the down time, some sooner than others. Eventually most of the group had nodded off and were bouncing in harmony with the pattern of the road. My body ached for sleep, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to see the countryside of Palawan, a place I would soon be calling home. Feeling too tired to even close my eyes, I gazed through my window soaking in all the new sights.
It's a habit of mine at the end of a year to think back on all the new experiences I had, to see how I've grown, what lessons I've learned, and how God has lead me and proven Himself faithful. Being at the very beginning of a one-year-term as a Student Missionary, I began wondering what I'll think back on come this time next year. How will I change? What will I experience? What will God reveal about Himself? Getting the feeling I was being watched, I looked over and found the same brown eyes peering through the seat again. They were such curious eyes. I wanted so badly to connect with her in some way, but how? Then suddenly I remembered. Dried Mangoes! I had just picked some up in Puerto. Everybody loves food! Maybe she'll be brave enough to eat some with me. I quickly pulled some out and to my delight, she gladly accepted.
We reached Brooke's right at Sunset. It was beautiful! Ocean on one side and mountains on the other. Everybody was eager to get some relief from all the bouncing and stretch their legs. We all filed out of the bus and began collecting all our things. As we were all standing there waiting for our ride, I felt a tug on my skirt. It was my little friend who had made a point to some say good-bye before she left with her family. She was the very first person I built a connection with here.
Later that night after getting some supper, we piled into the back of the pick-up and headed for the farm owned by the project. Awaiting us were about 20 Palawans. Some were there working on the farm and others had come down so they could start teaching us the language. We all had a sense of shyness and of course the language barrier. Since it was so late and we were all exhausted, we didn't waste any time in attempting to get our mosquito nets hung and beds set up, which was quite and experience while having to walk on a fragile bamboo floor that you were sure was going to break at any moment. All the Palawans were there watching us with eager expressions. I felt a bit like an animal in a zoo. Having learned a little bit of their language before arriving (thanks to former SM's), I tole them good evening "Menungang Gebi". They all broke out with smiles and laughter and responded with "Menungang Gasi" (the same to you), and so began the beginning of our friendship.
Monday, February 18, 2013
#4 Time Spent
I have heard that many of you are wondering what I’m
spending my time doing over here in the Philippines. I am a student missionary
working with Adventist Frontier Missions (AFM) on the “Palawan Project.” It’s
located in the mountains of the southern end of the island of Palawan. There is
a school, church, and clinic here. I spend most of my time working in the
clinic as one of the 5 nurses that are here. Working in the clinic is a full
time job and very different then in the states. Here we do the diagnosing,
prescribing, med preparations and minor surgical procedures that need to be
done. We are the night & day time RN’s. Whenever we have in-patients it’s a
bitter-sweet experience. We all get a lot less sleep, but we have a tremendous
opportunity to befriend and minister spiritually to the patients and their
families. We all speak Palawan here. So much of the time is devoted to language
learning. It takes a lot of self’ discipline and perseverance, but the payoff
is well worth it.
On Sabbath we have church and Sabbath School followed by
potluck where we all eat with our hands. Afterward we split up and go visiting
the villages near by, telling Bible stories, praying and teaching them songs.
It’s quite and experience telling Bible stories in a language you hardly know.
Luckily, Nuwi one of the local Palawans goes with us and knows the stories as
well as some English so together we can get the point across.
Sundays all the people around come to Kementiyan and meet to visit, play basketball & volleyball, and buy and sell things. This all happens right behind the Klinik. Sundays are our busiest days. Patients are often times lining up on the front porch by 7:30am and sometimes we are still seeing patients until 5:00pm.
I have learned a lot since being here. For instance, how to run a mission's clinic, how to speak a different language and live in a different culture. I've noticed my perspective has changed some. I've realized many of the things I once thought I needed I really can do without.
A few nights ago Natasha (one of the elementary school teachers) and I headed out to Mislinda & Bubin's house. We had made plans to come eat supper with their family. We brought camp bread and popcorn, and they made sengley (sweet potatoes). It was very delicious! While we were eating, it started to rain, so they invited us to stay the night. We were very excited and were hoping that might happen so we had thrown in a sheet, just in case. We snuggled in with three of the other girls on the hard bamboo floor. The night was a bit chilly so we were thankful for the extra body heat. It was our first night sleeping in a Palawan's home, and it was certainly a night to remember. I was expecting to not get a whole lot of sleep because of the cool weather and hard bamboo, but I was not expecting to also get wet. The rain kept falling, which was fine until the wind also started to blow. Palawano's huts aren't entirely weather proof, in fact, they hardly are at all. Around 10:00 that night a huge typhoon swept through our valley. Every once in a while you would get a spray of rain in your face or be shaken awake because the whole hut was swaying with the wind. By about 4:30 am we all decided it was close enough to morning, so we all sat up and huddled together under my sheet which helped break some of the wind and rain. To pass the time, we began singing Palawan songs, told the story of when Jesus walked on water, and had a prayer. By around 6:45 am the rain still hadn't let up, but we decided we had better get back so we could get the clinic opened by 8:00 am. After finding my shoes that had gotten blown around in the storm, we headed out hoping we wouldn't fall on the slippery mud. It took longer than normal as several trees had fallen over the trail and it was filled with rushing water. At the very end of the trail is a creek with a log arching over it so you can cross. Doing that in the pouring rain with a basket hanging from your head, and bamboo branches in your way is quite a challenge. Out of all the nights we could have stayed with the Palawans, we were very thankful it was this night. Going through this experience with them helped us understand them a lot better and what everyday life was like for them.
Sundays all the people around come to Kementiyan and meet to visit, play basketball & volleyball, and buy and sell things. This all happens right behind the Klinik. Sundays are our busiest days. Patients are often times lining up on the front porch by 7:30am and sometimes we are still seeing patients until 5:00pm.
I have learned a lot since being here. For instance, how to run a mission's clinic, how to speak a different language and live in a different culture. I've noticed my perspective has changed some. I've realized many of the things I once thought I needed I really can do without.
A few nights ago Natasha (one of the elementary school teachers) and I headed out to Mislinda & Bubin's house. We had made plans to come eat supper with their family. We brought camp bread and popcorn, and they made sengley (sweet potatoes). It was very delicious! While we were eating, it started to rain, so they invited us to stay the night. We were very excited and were hoping that might happen so we had thrown in a sheet, just in case. We snuggled in with three of the other girls on the hard bamboo floor. The night was a bit chilly so we were thankful for the extra body heat. It was our first night sleeping in a Palawan's home, and it was certainly a night to remember. I was expecting to not get a whole lot of sleep because of the cool weather and hard bamboo, but I was not expecting to also get wet. The rain kept falling, which was fine until the wind also started to blow. Palawano's huts aren't entirely weather proof, in fact, they hardly are at all. Around 10:00 that night a huge typhoon swept through our valley. Every once in a while you would get a spray of rain in your face or be shaken awake because the whole hut was swaying with the wind. By about 4:30 am we all decided it was close enough to morning, so we all sat up and huddled together under my sheet which helped break some of the wind and rain. To pass the time, we began singing Palawan songs, told the story of when Jesus walked on water, and had a prayer. By around 6:45 am the rain still hadn't let up, but we decided we had better get back so we could get the clinic opened by 8:00 am. After finding my shoes that had gotten blown around in the storm, we headed out hoping we wouldn't fall on the slippery mud. It took longer than normal as several trees had fallen over the trail and it was filled with rushing water. At the very end of the trail is a creek with a log arching over it so you can cross. Doing that in the pouring rain with a basket hanging from your head, and bamboo branches in your way is quite a challenge. Out of all the nights we could have stayed with the Palawans, we were very thankful it was this night. Going through this experience with them helped us understand them a lot better and what everyday life was like for them.
Friday, February 15, 2013
#3 Lessons from the Mission Field
Expectations. It's that word everyone warned me about. I heeded their advice and did my best to find out what life would really be like here, but expectations are good at being invisible until they are unmet. My unmet expectation surfaced when life stopped going according to plan.
You see my goal was that this year would be the line that carries me from point "A" to point "B"(a far off dot that was clearly defined in my mind). But God in His eternally infinite wisdom began drawing the line in a different direction. I wish I could say I responded with an, "Ah, God! The line you're drawing is not going to connect with point "B." But nothing changed. With each passing day I found us to be on the same course, going away from point "B." A lot of friction and unrest began to build in me, but not so in God. He seemed cool as a cucumber and almost happy. I sensed His patience and love for me when I lifted my prayers of frustration, disappointment and bewilderment. What appeared to be silence was actually Him listening to me, and giving me the time I needed so I could accept what He was about to reveal. It took about a month but I did finally come to the realization that point "B" may not be where He wants to take me and that the line He is drawing is actually, exactly what I need. I am happy to say, inner turmoil is no longer my companion, but rather, peace, joy and excitement to see where and how God will continue to lead in my life.
You see my goal was that this year would be the line that carries me from point "A" to point "B"(a far off dot that was clearly defined in my mind). But God in His eternally infinite wisdom began drawing the line in a different direction. I wish I could say I responded with an, "Ah, God! The line you're drawing is not going to connect with point "B." But nothing changed. With each passing day I found us to be on the same course, going away from point "B." A lot of friction and unrest began to build in me, but not so in God. He seemed cool as a cucumber and almost happy. I sensed His patience and love for me when I lifted my prayers of frustration, disappointment and bewilderment. What appeared to be silence was actually Him listening to me, and giving me the time I needed so I could accept what He was about to reveal. It took about a month but I did finally come to the realization that point "B" may not be where He wants to take me and that the line He is drawing is actually, exactly what I need. I am happy to say, inner turmoil is no longer my companion, but rather, peace, joy and excitement to see where and how God will continue to lead in my life.
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